Perfectly Imperfect

Freckles

♫ "I used to care so much about what others think about
Almost didn’t have a thought of my own
The slightest remark would make me embark
On the journey of self doubt

But that was a while ago
This girl has gotten stronger
If I knew then what I know now
I would have told myself, don’t worry any longer, it's OK
'
cause a face without freckles is like a sky without ★stars★
Why waste a second not loving who you are
Those little imperfections make you beautiful, lovable, valuable,
They show your personality inside your heart
Reflecting who you are

I often wondered if I could trade my body with somebody else in magazines
With the whole world full at my feet
I phantom worthy and would blame my failures on the ugliness I could see
When the mirror looked at me

Sometimes I feel like the little girl who doesn’t belong in her own world
But I'm getting better, And I'm reminding myself:

a face without freckles is like a sky without ★ stars ★
Why waste a second not ♥ loving who you are?
Those little imperfections make you beautiful, lovable, valuable,
They show your personality inside your heart
Reflecting who you are ♫

I've lived my entire life caring [way too much] about what people think about me. I've worried, wondered, and wanted to just be accepted for who I was. It's easy to tell yourself that you're beautiful and lovable and that people like you for you...it's quite another to believe it. Things have gotten [a tiny bit] easier as I've grown up and learned to face the fact that no one's perfect, and I can't compare myself to others...But it's still something I struggle with. See, here's how it goes: I get myself ready in the morning. I feel decent, and on the occasional day a few times a year, pretty freakin sexy. Then the second I walk out the door, regardless of where I'm going, the war begins; the battle of me vs. the world. Someone prettier here, someone more popular there...nicer car...clearer skin...cuter clothes...better make up...more friends...tan skin...the list is infinite. My insecurities settle in, and I begin to judge other people, perhaps to make myself feel better? who knows. But, I guess the point is, I'm tired of comparing and judging, for fear of being compared and judged. I want to learn to accept who I am. All of me. Not just parts. Not just my red lips. Or my brown eyes. I want to love every bit of me, imperfections and all....my pale skin...my cowlick bangs that drive me insane, my curly hair, my moles and freckles...my blemishes...I want to love all five freakin feet and eight inches of me. [yes, that's another insecurity] Here's to loving how perfectly imperfect I am.

Finding [Forgotten] Happiness

My testimony has been hidden somewhere inside of me lately...I've been so caught up in my busy life that I've forgotten to take time to strengthen my testimony of my Savior and of His plan of Happiness...and As I take a look at my life...I've realized that I'm missing a little bit of just that: happiness. Sometimes I feel like I'm blindly living each day...waking up and doing the same ol' mundane routine. I feel like I have all I need to make me happy, and have myself convinced that I am [most of the time] happy.....or happy enough. But just when I get comfortable with my state of living, I have an experience that seems to wake me up; giving me a slap me in the face, as if to say, 'hey! You're missing something in your life! Do you remember what it's like to feel the spirit? To be able to testify of the truthfulness of The Gospel?' I can't believe how easily i forget and how quickly I let my spirituality slip away. Little by little I let it go, leaving me to live a life of hypocrisy; believing and preaching the gospel, but not really living it. My recent wake up call was a quote that opened my eyes (and heart) to realizing something I had forgotten makes me truly happy.

"I am part of the fellowship of the unashamed. The die has been cast. I have stepped over the line. The decision has been made, I am a Disciple of Jesus Christ. I won't look back, let up, slow down, or be still. My past is redeemed, my present makes sense, and my future is secure. I'm finished and done with low living, small planning, smooth knees, colorless dreams, tamed visions, worldy thinking, cheap giving, and dwarfed goals. I no longer need preeminence, positions, promotions, plaudits, or popularity. I don't have to be right, first, rocognized, praised regarded, or rewarded. I now live by faith, lean on His presence, walk with patience, am uplifted by prayer, and labor with power. My face is set, my gait is fast, my goal is Heaven. My road is narrow, my way is rough, my companions are few, my guide is reliable, my mission is clear. I cannot be bought, compromised, detoured, lured away, divided, or delayed. I will not flinch in the face of sacrifice, hesitate in the presence of adversity, negotiate at the table of the enemy, ponder at the pool of popularity, or meander in the maze of mediocrity. I won't give up, shut up, or let up until I have stayed up, stored up, and paid up for the cause of Christ. I must go til He comes, give til I drop, preach til all know, and work til He stops me. And when He returens for His own, He will have no problem recognizing me. My banner will be clear."

I love The Gospel of Jesus Christ. It brings me true happiness....Even if I forget it.

Attitude of Gratitude

I've been thinking a lot about gratitude lately....I tend to be pretty pessimistic...ok, i don't like that term...let's say I'm just a realist. :) How often I catch myself with a bad attitude about the things I should be most grateful for...for instance...

I complain that I have to clean the house...when I should be grateful that I have a roof over my head

I whine and moan about gas prices, when I should consider it a blessing I have ways of getting places.

Money may be extremely tight...but i'm lucky to have what little I do have...with the occasional extra dollar or two to do something fun.

I get bugged by people way too easily....but I have SO many people that love and care for me, and I shouldn't take them for granted.

I complain about going to work...whether it be one job or the other...but how blessed am I to be employed.

Editing pictures can be very overwhelming...especially when you have so many to do...but I am one lucky girl to have opportunities doing something I'm so passionate about and love so much.

3 hours of church? super boring...especially for a girl with an attention span like mine...but how blessed am I to have the gospel in my life and to be lucky enough to have the knowledge of the Atonement and the Plan of Salvation.

I don't have the greatest health...but I have two legs to walk, two arms to use, eyes to see, and a mind full of knowledge. it could be worse.

I complain about the weather...it's too hot, too cold, too rainy, too blah blah blah...but I am constantly amazed at the beauty of this earth. It is incredible.

It's all about the way you see things. I find it extremely hard to 'look on the bright side of things' and often get frustrated when people tell me to do so. But I should be counting my blessings. An attitude of gratitude will help improve my life immensly. after all:

add the letters of A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E together, and it = 100%

are you counting your blessings?

Life...

Life is crazy right now. Not in a bad way. Just crazy. Like always. But, I'm happy. :)

This is life right now:

plans for the summer are in the air. I'm basically homeless and stressed about what I'm going to do. but I know with so many people who love me I'll be able to figure everything out.

I'm in like with an adorable boy who treats me like a princess.

I have incredible friends and family.

I'll be working at zions bank and cleaning houses for the summer

I'm moving home in two days and couldn't be more excited.

my photography business is growing like crazy...i have three more weddings planned through the summer and will hopefully be doing some senior and fashion shoots too

i have fun summer plans with friends and family.

for the moment, life is great. :D

Searching for paradise

I'm ready for
sunshine.
birds.
flowers.
BBQ's.
tans.
warm weather.
hikes.
lemonade.
swimming.
vacations.
volleyball.
watermelon.
sunglasses.
long days.
bike rides.
tennis.
swinging.
starry nights.
corn on the cob.
otter pops.
photo shoots.
fourth of july.
camping.
sleeping on the tramp.
snow cones.

I'm ready for summer!!

Life's little lessons

Life never stops to take a breath…Day by day, hour by hour….time steals our lives and memories away. But if you take time to cherish the little things that make you happy, you can finish your journey with satisfaction that you took time to do the simple things in life that make it worthwhile , and created memories with the ones you love. These are a few of the things that I remind myself to do…tiny things that make me look at my life and say: “wow, what an incredible journey this is.”

♥ Blow bubbles when chewing bubble gum
♥ Lie under the stars
♥ Drive around with the windows rolled down and music so loud you can’t hear yourself sing
♥ Walk barefoot outside in the summer
♥ Indulge in delicious food
♥ When parking, always choose a pull-through space
♥ Look through old pictures and laugh…or cry…at old memories
♥ Read quotes that help you express how you feel
♥ Say a grateful prayer…don’t ask for anything, simply tell Heavenly Father everything you’re grateful for
♥ Play hooky from work or school
♥ Don’t take life too seriously…it’s not worth it
♥ Use words that people don’t usually use in normal conversations (example: alas, ergo, hitherto, nonetheless)
♥ Listen to your favorite song over and over til you know every word
♥ Laugh out loud at yourself
♥ Pray for your enemies
♥ Learn stupid trivial facts that no one cares about
♥ Don’t hold grudges…drama is stupid…smile and get over it
♥ Type a paper in single space, then when you’re done change it to double and see how much you’ve written
♥ Stay in sweats and a t-shirt all day loing…and skip the shower…hygiene is overrated. ;)
♥ Always tell people you love them
♥ Take a trip back to your childhood….color a picture with crayons
♥ Press snooze
♥ Take a longer than needed shower just to relax
♥ Kiss your children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews…whoever it may be…and cherish every moment before they grow up…it happens too fast
♥ Splurge on a new outfit every now and then…you deserve to feel good about yourself
♥ Smile.
♥ Laugh so hard you cry
♥ Share inside jokes with friends
♥ Go to the temple and remember how lucky you are to have The Gospel of Jesus Christ in your life
♥ Eat candy or cake for breakfast
♥ Don’t cook the cookies…just eat the dough
♥ Bare your testimony every chance you get
♥ Leave notes letting people know how much you care
♥ Wear clothes more than once without washing them
♥ Don’t be afraid to cry yourself to sleep
♥ Have a movie marathon
♥ Surprise an old friend and stop by to see them when they’re not expecting it
♥ Skip the make-up one day…some days are a total waste of make-up anyways
♥ Stay up late having deep conversations about life
♥ Give hugs
♥ Procrastinate doing the dishes or cleaning the house…the mess can wait…spend time with friends or family instead.

Don't let life slip by...Live your life so that when you get to heaven, you can tell God: "I have nothing left to give...I gave all I had to make this the best life I could make it."

Facing a fork in the road

I have to laugh sometimes at life's little cliche's....A fork in the road? what's that supposed to mean? As I've had to grow up and face the 'real world' I've come to a better understanding of what it really means. Decisions...never been my strongest aspect of life...it didn't matter if I was choosing a candy bar at the store, I would torment myself trying to settle on one thing. Now, the decisions seem to be a little more important than which sugar filled treat to choose to rot my teeth with. It terrifies me that each path I am faced with could ultimately have a drastically different outcome. So how does one go about making such a choice? Eeny meeny miny mo? Rock paper scissors? Heads or tails? I suppose since I'm growing up, I should choose a little more grown up approach. Some things seem to get simpler as you mature and learn life lessons, but making decisions will never be easy.