Drama. I eat, sleep, and breathe it. Not the silly school girl drama of who’s dating who and the latest and greatest gossip about everyone in school. I’m talking theatre; acting, performing, plays, characters, audiences, scenes, monologues, and much more. Theatre has been a huge part of my life over the past few years. I love that it gives me an opportunity to express myself and pretend to be something I’m not. I find it thrilling to be on stage in front of people and can’t seem to get enough of it. I’ve been in many shows, but one in particular changed my entire life: “Peter Pan: The Boy Who Would not Grow up.”
In high school, I was part of an advanced theatre program. We did many performances throughout the year, as well as exercises and things that would help us improve our acting skills. The theatre season was half way over and we were preparing for our spring play, which is the biggest production of the year. In class, we had auditions to cast us as the characters. I shook with nerves as I walked into class that day. My hands were numb and my mind raced as I tried to focus on the cold read I was handed. I’d never seen the script before and I stumbled over the unfamiliar lines. I wanted so badly to play a significant role. As I finished, I tried to breathe deep and not think too much about my audition. I knew that waiting for the next class to find out our characters would be torture. And it was. The day finally came and as we sat in class, I was just as nervous as the day of my audition. The roles were posted and I was absolutely thrilled at the character I was cast as. I was going to play Mrs. Darling--the sweet and tender mother of Wendy, Michael, and John Darling, who loved her children very much.
For a week, we studied, pondered, and analyzed the play. We researched the playwright, J.M. Barrie, and sought to understand his reasoning and meaning behind the play. The play is a double tragedy—peter must either stay in Neverland and stay a child forever, or be a part of the real world and grow up. This shows the main theme of the show: the conflict between the innocence of childhood and the responsibility of adulthood. So as we discussed what our objective would be. we decided to focus on the incredible delight of childhood. Instead of being actors performing the play, we would merely be children playing a game of make believe. Pretending and imagining that we were indeed the characters of Neverland. It would be just another neighborhood competition with the age old theme of boys vs. girls….until our parents called us home for dinner.
We kept track of our 'happy thoughts' and created our ‘happy places’. A place we could call our own. it was filled with special memories and things in our life that made us truly happy. Everyone’s place was unique and we could visit any time we wanted—we simply closed our eyes, and with faith, trust, and a little pixy dust, there we were—in a paradise of peace, serenity, and pure bliss. We were free to be ourselves, no one to judge us, no one to tell us what to do. We were there to escape the realities of life and rejuvenate….without a care in the world.
In order to focus on being a child, we had to find the child within us. We had to explore and examine ourselves and try to find that little person just bursting to get out and play. Every day in class, someone was in charge of creating what we called an I.C.A., or an inner child activity. We had picnics and ran wildly around the playground. We jumped rope and laughed and giggled at the games we played. We ate messy peanut butter sandwiches and forgot to wipe off our sticky fingers. We sang songs. We colored pictures and proudly hung them on the wall for everyone to see. We played dress-ups and house. We built forts and imagined they were castles guarded by dragons. All the while, reminiscing the joys of our childhood. We slowly began to realize that we had never really grown up, and that somewhere inside us, our inner child would always dwell.
My clammy hands shook and my heart pounded in my chest as I stood behind the crimson curtain. I felt like I had stood there forever, anticipating the premier of our show. I ran through my lines silently in my head and prayed that I wouldn't forget them. Darkness surrounded me until they were finally pulled open and the bright lights invaded my sight. I searched for a familiar face in the audience but could barely see a soul with the lights blinding my vision. I could only tell that it was a full house by the echos of whispers as they realized the show was beginning. The thrill of being on stage was setting in...pure adrenaline rushing through my veins. I looked around at the others that shared the stage with me and could tell that they were feeling the same way. I caught the eye of one of my fellow actors. His lips curved upwards into a smile and any nerves I was still feeling quickly disappeared and I couldn't help but smile myself. I wasn't worried about anyone else anymore. It was me and the stage. A hush fell over the audience as they awaited the opening line. The lights began to warm up the stage, almost as if the sun had been captured and it's rays were being released through the bulbs. I listened for my cues to begin my lines. I rehearsed what I was going to say one final time in my mind. Then it was my turn. I opened my mouth to speak, and to my amazement, the words flowed smoothly. I said the line with perfection just as I'd rehearsed it a million times. I was so absorbed in the moment that I forgot I was just acting. It felt so real. The energy we, as actors, emitted was practically tangible. I felt everyone's enthusiasm and devotion to the play so well. I anticipated what was going to happen next and couldn't wait for the audience’s reaction. Peter Pan came on stage and after his first line, he was lifted up high above the stage and flew high above us all. The crowd gasped and whispers filled the air. The play had only been going for a matter of minutes, and already I knew it was going to be magical. In fact, I was surrounded by magic. There were pirates and Indians, mermaids and fairies. I was in a fantasy land, but it felt so real. We were living truthfully in an imaginary circumstance. I wanted to stay there forever. To live in a world where I could play all day and never grow up. But unfortunately it couldn’t last. But that didn’t mean that the things I felt, and the lessons I learned couldn’t. I will never forget this experience. I don’t always have to be a grown up. There’s always a child within me that is yearning to be let free.
I may be all grown up, but I am a child at heart. My mind runs wild; almost as wild as I do. I’m not afraid to let my true self show no matter where I am and who I’m with. I travel to far, far away lands all the time. I fight evil villains and their sidekicks until victory is mine. Princesses invite me to their royal balls and tea parties, and I attend in my most beautiful gowns. I travel the raging seas with pirates as we search for the buried treasure that will bring us great wealth. I’d hate to be a robber when I’m around, because me and my cop friends will make sure justice is served. And you can’t forget about the wild frontier—chasing Indians and riding wild horses. But my favorite place to visit will always be Neverland, for it holds a special place deep in my heart. Neverland changed my life; it may be make-believe to some, but to me, it's as real as the air I breathe.
"So come with me where dreams are born and time is never planned.
Just think of happy things
and your heart will fly on wings
Forever in never never land."
Second star to the right and straight on ‘til morning.
I can count the number of people who I honestly and truly love on my two hands... and the people I got to spend time with this week take up a few of those places. Nate and Ashlee understand me more than a lot of people I know. I love being with them. Nate has always been my big brother and I look up to him a lot...more than he probably knows. I feel like Ash is just one of my sisters...we are so much alike and it's so fun to be with someone who actually knows what I'm going through and understands feelings I have. I love Nate and Ashlee.
